Hi everyone, its a new month and a long time away from you... I must admit, I have missed everyone. October opens with bouts of sarcasm, love, happiness, sober reflections, and of course whatever feelings you would call it. And so I'd be writing with the Title " Different Shades of Blur" for this month and the remaining months. Happy October beginnings and endings.
" And you my love have gone
Into my deepest of moods alone
And have taken me out
of the deep abyss which i
Gave a name - Depression."
My sleep was not distorted, in fact I did not sleep at all. I watched as it all happened, all I could do was watch. I did not know how to move, I did not know whether screaming could help with the thousands of waning echoes I heard. I watched as people ran in their hundreds and I stood there, only being pushed from time to time by girls afraid of death, afraid of being afraid, dying in fear. I stood watching, like in a trance, petrified, frozen deep within my spines. I watched as some flew from the third floor, I watched a stampede. I watched the girl screaming in the loudest of tones,loud as it were, her voice was drowned in the fearful ecstasy. She was trampled upon severally and she screamed helplessly, continuously. There was no camaraderie this time, everyman was for himself. "Fire! Fire! Fire!" became the anthem of the wee hours as people scurried like rats out of the hostel. And there I still was confused, my brains were not working fine this time. I could not tell why. I closed my eyes and my nose opened up to the smell of the smoke. The walls of the hostel as if afraid too, shuddered in heat and bruised my skin. "I dunno! I dunno" my silence spoke in my petrified state, tears welled up in my eyes. It could have been the fire. It could have been the emotions that I denied. The emotions that told the truth. I did not also want to die. Death could be painless, could be the end of a beginning or the beginning of an end. Perhaps the beginning of beginnings. But I was not up for such philosophies. I did not want to die. I could not move. Only my eyes moved, observing every bit of everything. I watched from the corridor gates Sodeinde boys running with all enthusiasm. It was a romantic site. They ran with all their heart, with all of their ego hidden. They ran to save them; the ones they will never get to date. They ran with the innocence of love; like a lover running to save his love from the cold grip of death. They ran in their hundreds into the hostel. They ran to save them; the ones who had a crush on them, the ones who broke their hearts, the ones whose heart they thought they had broken which turned out to be a lie, the ones who would insult them at their back. They ran to save the ones who would say "I can never date a Unilag boy". But there was nothing wrong with being a Unilag boy; there was everything wrong with being flawless in this part of the world. They ran into a law that had prohibited boys from entering girls hostels and broke into it. They broke the law and their lovers received them in a warm embrace, with full gratitude as the fire was gradually being quenched. I heard the wailing again, but with a tear stained smile. It sounded more like the cooing of doves. I closed my eyes and fell to the ground. I did not know why I had done that, I only woke up the next day on the sickly hospital bed. It was 3am.
